Tw: talking of eating disorders and body dysmorphia
At some point, everyone has had a thought about wanting to change something they didn’t like about their body. Maybe you are really tall and you wish you were a few inches shorter, or maybe you’re too short and you wish you were a few inches taller. Maybe your boobs aren’t the same size, maybe they’re too big or too small. Maybe you wanna spend more time at the gym because you want to become more muscular. Maybe you want to be curvier, or skinner. Maybe you hate your nose, your eyes, or your hair. Whatever it may be, most people are thinking of something right now that they wish they could “fix”.
I’ve struggled with body positivity my whole life. I am totally accepting of other people, meaning I don’t judge anyone by the way they look. I think all body types are beautiful and deserve a place in the world as long as the person is healthy and being kind to themselves. However, I often find myself being extremely critical towards my own body. The thing is, I’ve never been overweight at any stage of my life, but when I look at the mirror, I sometimes see myself as “fat”. It’s very strange, believing you are something you factually are not, but I can’t seem to control these thoughts. I weigh myself too much and get very upset if I’ve gained even a pound or two. I watch what I eat extremely consciously and give myself a really hard time if I eat too much sugar, dairy, or carbs on any certain day. I’m constantly counting calories, checking labels, being way too careful about everything I put into my body.
Where does this pattern come from? I didn’t grow up in a household where my parents criticized my body or constantly checked calories and labels. I basically was raised to love the skin that I’m in, but I still ended up doing the exact opposite. Why is that? I think it’s because as we grow up, we’re constantly being exposed to society’s expectations of what our bodies should look like. We watch tv shows and movies with women who have flat stomachs and a tiny waistline, and men who are tall and muscular. They’re on our Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest timelines. They’re featured in clothing store ads, commercials, and almost everything else we consume on a daily basis. Nowadays, brands are working on including more body diversity in their campaigns, and I think that this is super important. The world offers so many different body types, and they should be featured to us. We constantly listen to others talk about what they want to change about themselves, so it’s hard not to look at our own bodies and think about what we would do with a bigger butt, smaller boobs, a thinner waist. We watch videos and ads about dieting and how we shouldn’t eat too much or this or too little of that. Celebrities often will advertise “detox teas” to their young audiences. It’s difficult to want to pick yourself up when almost everyone is putting themselves down. People are rarely educated on eating disorders, so if you get one you don’t understand what’s going on but neither do the people around you.
Where does this pattern come from? I didn’t grow up in a household where my parents criticized my body or constantly checked calories and labels. I basically was raised to love the skin that I’m in, but I still ended up doing the exact opposite. Why is that? I think it’s because as we grow up, we’re constantly being exposed to society’s expectations of what our bodies should look like. We watch tv shows and movies with women who have flat stomachs and a tiny waistline, and men who are tall and muscular. They’re on our Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest timelines. They’re featured in clothing store ads, commercials, and almost everything else we consume on a daily basis. Nowadays, brands are working on including more body diversity in their campaigns, and I think that this is super important. The world offers so many different body types, and they should be featured to us. We constantly listen to others talk about what they want to change about themselves, so it’s hard not to look at our own bodies and think about what we would do with a bigger butt, smaller boobs, a thinner waist. We watch videos and ads about dieting and how we shouldn’t eat too much or this or too little of that. Celebrities often will advertise “detox teas” to their young audiences. It’s difficult to want to pick yourself up when almost everyone is putting themselves down. People are rarely educated on eating disorders, so if you get one you don’t understand what’s going on but neither do the people around you.
No matter how you feel about the way you look, I think you need to grow and learn to love the skin you’re in. It’s something I struggle with, and I know that I’ll need to put a lot of work in to accept the body I was given. I have been trying really hard not to judge myself for everything I eat; it’s okay to treat yourself every once in a while. If I’m feeling bad about how I ate, I try to go for a walk or do a light workout instead of sitting around feeling guilty for hours. It’s important to eat healthily and work out when you can, but make sure that you do it because it’s to stay healthy, instead of doing it because you don’t like the way you look. A healthy lifestyle physically only goes so far when you aren’t taking care of yourself emotionally.
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